The Army Influence

Dreams, aspirations, rants, more rants, life updates, rants....hope you got the picture

18 May 2008

Things I have learned that the teachers didn't teach

It's been awhile, but I figured I would see how many I would shock by making a post.

Anyway, considering I am graduating this coming Sunday, I thought this would be a great opportunity to share some of the things I have learned!

  • I cannot sing, do not ask me to unless you are purposely trying to lose your hearing
  • I cannot dance, I still do it just looks rather scary
  • I cannot dance latin style, the hips refuse to move independently of the shoulders
  • I run/walk better in heels (meaning I should put lifts in my combat boots)
  • I am a ditz, I admit it.
  • I have blonde moments, I admit it.
  • Power tools for gardening + me = 2 cut extension cords
  • Friends come and go, but stupid people last forever
  • Knowing the Heimlich maneuver on a lizard is not useful when a human is choking
  • Singing helps pass time when tying a rope bridge
  • The command Eyes Right does not equal Rear March
  • Do not trust anyone that thinks CPR is going to help when I have been hit in the face by a basketball
  • When friends are trying to teach me spanish, have a dictionary to make sure what they are saying is the actual definition
  • My friends love Dads burritos, including the hispanics
  • 5<4 (you had to be there)
  • A saber to the ear does not feel good
  • a rifle to the ear does not feel good
  • I am able to send a flag 20 ft in the air and not so much as blink when it comes down, throw me a rifle I duck and cover
  • It is okay if the person next to you falls asleep while marching a parade
  • I am a good shot... as long as I lay down or kneel
  • One person can make two other people get along and be good friends, just by being in the room
  • I sometimes do not catch on to things right away
  • When someone says learn everything, its for a reason so don't look at them like they are crazy
  • When taking a chemistry test for college it helps to remember the simple stuff as well as the complicated stuff
  • Math is my friend, do not be afraid of math... except, there is no reason for half the stuff they teach us
  • What I hear in song lyrics may not be what they actually are
  • I am conversational in acronym
  • I can tell a story in one breath, but I cannot guarantee if everyone will understand me
  • It really is a small world after all, that's why one of my old coworkers is now my student teacher
  • I'm a squeaker
  • Penguins have special capabilities, not to mention they are just plain awesome
  • Graham crackers have some sort of healing property
  • It is humorous to watch the aftermath of one of my friends flirting with my instructors wife
  • Nothing can really creep me out anymore, at least socially
  • I am a jungle gym for a 10 yr old and a 6 yr old
  • I have heard just about every blonde joke and variations there of.
  • It is perfectly normal for high school students to sing the oscar meyer song
  • It is also perfectly normal for high school students to be singing barney, twinkle twinkle, Im a little tea pot, and various other children's songs.
  • Sleep with one eye open, especially when coming home from a competition and there is cameras
  • The simple sport of badminton is not so simple
  • When doing a project for biology that involves lime jello... Do not eat your project
  • The majority of my class will have back problems in 15 yrs do to backpack that are at least half our weight
  • Keep military bearing now, cry later
  • I like children as long as I can give them back
  • My brain is dysfunctional, but it works
  • There must be complete focus on a 10k, unless there are goslings 10 ft away
  • Breakfast burritos after a 10k is not always a good plan
  • 0 dark thirty is a perfectly normal time to get up, just make sure Mom has coffee
  • It is possible to take over the world with ping pong balls, coke machines, and penguins
  • Singing in my sleep is normal, sitting up and saying, "Shut the f*** up Colyer" is not
  • I am the future of the US Army... That should scare people
  • "I am insane with long horrible intervals of sanity." -Edgar Allan Poe
  • I will always have that happy, clumsy aura about me... get over it
  • I no longer am a deer in the headlights, but I have my moments
  • I refuse to be a Leming, you can jump off the cliff, Ill stand and wave
  • If someone doesn't like the way I dress, than don't look at me
  • I have learned a lot, probably to much to list here, but at least I can say I caught the plane!!!
Hope this keeps you all happy for a few!
Thanks for watching me and supporting me through the roller coaster known as high school

"We're the best, get it straight. We're the class of 2008!"


At 8:36 PM, Blogger Lady Wyvern said...

Wow... now that the shock has warn off about you posting....
You forgot you learned -
- Microwaves do not cook tv dinners
- You are not tall enough to ride certain apparatus at CampD.
- You were not born on the 5th
- Telephones do not move when hit with a 94 Ford Taurus
- Dork CANNOT fix your bumper when .. see previous
- Singing Photograph in your sleep provides much entertainment (at your expense)to those around you
AND - well, lets just say "I'm only happy when it rains.. I like it when it's complicated.. Spin like a puppy lately???

At 8:45 PM, Blogger Ditzy Cadet said...

You are going to email this to SGT R aren't you?

At 8:23 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

-TV's don't cook TV dinners...
No matter how hard you try, you simply cannot push the power button on the TV to get the microwave door to open, though it is extremely humerous to watch someone try!!!!
-There is a correct way to put an army poncho on that does not include swinging in circles
-first aid bags provide endless entertainment when given to teenagers
-It is humanly possible to squeak and laugh and drool at the same time
-Ditzy will ALWAYS park right behind the vehicle you intend to use for the day
-she will also park 2 inches away from the door you must use to get into said vehicle
-Ditzy does not know toes from nose
....4.0 GPA, full scolarship, 3 universities.....
We love you anyway!!!!

Sgt R

At 12:35 AM, Blogger Tom said...

glad you caught the flight, now just let us all know when re-entry will occur from outer space

At 7:07 PM, Blogger Ret said...

So I stumbled upon your blog after clicking on one of my interests (ROTC), and I read this whole entry. It really seemed like myself talking, I can't really believe the similarities. I'm hoping that we may be able to be friends in some way, shape, or form, even though I'm in an MCJROTC and you're Army.


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