The Army Influence

Dreams, aspirations, rants, more rants, life updates, rants....hope you got the picture

13 January 2011

A New Year.... Oh dear

So, here I sit on Thursday night done with all of my immediate homework and contemplating if I want to start this round of reading I need to do for the weekend.... May try to hit some of it. Last semester was a bomb for me... I admit I blew off last semester, I just didn't want to do the work. My own damn fault really.

To kind of catch up, my birthday was a lot of fun, went to a bunch of different places had a drink at each one...boy was I a few sheets to the wind!! I got a really pretty necklace and earring set from the boyfriend, it was real oyster pearls in a little pendant case and earring set. He decided it would be funny to put the box with the necklace and earrings in a gift bag with tissue paper, put that into a shoe box, duct tape the shoe box, then wrap it in pretty wrapping paper. I kept getting angrier and angrier till I got to the box...its really hard to be mad when you get something that pretty. November saw a year anniversary type thing. Comparatively speaking, the holidays this year were much better some holidays from the past few years. There were fights, there was arguing, but it was a lot better. The new year was rather unexciting, went to a friends house for the festivities, just sat around and chilled. It was the sit around and drink just to drink idea... not my favorite but hey what are ya gonna do? School started and now its the end of the first week.

In ROTC, its the same thing different day... I do need to get my PT score back up or I'm gonna have bigger problems. I'm gonna try out for Bataan, there are 9 slots to go.... crap way to end spring break but hey, its also something that has some important history behind it. 6 in one hand half a dozen in the other. My current gripe is that people want to teach counter column march to the platoon, but they can't do the basics properly. I'm sorry, but if we're gonna do complicated stuff, make sure they know how to stand at attention properly and other simple stuff. That's a soapbox for another day though.

I'm selling that damn car, turns out it was a blown gasket, I've had enough of putting money into that car so I am getting rid of it... try this again some other time. I'm learning to like public trans again...grrr. I'm still in the apartment that flooded, and I'm still having issues with the landlord, but its par for the course.

In the family dept, well....hehhehehe. Went to CO over break to see Mom and meet Bob a little more... Aside from getting Hippie scabies and some other hiccups along the way it was an ok trip. Mom and I didn't make it with out arguing, and I haven't figured out where I stand on Bob... not exactly a fan, but its not my life, not my choice, and on some level just don't care. In the Dad section, well at the current moment in time, we aren't talking. Some stuff that I said to Mom got back to him and I finally opened up about a few things.... he didn't take it well and decided to say, "Good luck, I'll be here." "Don't want to be a bother." The way I wrote the email was so that maybe we could talk or something... Yet, he jumped pretty quick. I feel as if he was there just out of politeness for the last 11 years. However, part of me wants think that he actually did care. At any rate, its not something I'm terribly dwelling on. This does bring to an end though the saga of "kid in the middle of parental problems because they can't act like adults." I'm pretty happy about that.

I've hit a rough patch with LP, we argue a lot and there seems to be some emotional distance. There are some other issues, but thats a story for another day. I don't know what's going to happen, believe it or not I am remaining optimistic, a little off kilter for me I know, but thats been part of the problem... he doesn't like how negative/pessimistic I can be. I'm not the biggest fan of it either, do you know how hard it is to feel happy, or hell even fake it, when you can find every negative thing in something. I tell people that I am the most negativistic/pessimistic person you'll meet, but I find the positive in everyone and most situations. That still rings somewhat true. We also have some communication issues... I push, he shuts down... I yell, he storms off... He yells, I get upset.... We used to talk rather well (minus the 3 hour go off sessions once in awhile)... Things change as you go through a relationship. I hope he knows how much I care for him and how much he really does mean to me.

Well, this has been an interesting data dump... At any rate, welcome to the new year and the next chapter.


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