This is some Alice in Wonderland stuff.

When you are handed information and asked the questions needed to be asked.... What do you do with that information? It feels like I have two doors but neither are the option of going back to the way things were; the options that exist are to walk through and pretend it never happened but let it eat at my brain or to push through and see where it goes, see what happens next.

Why do I feel a bit more lost than I already was about things.